Here is what they did to me:

1) Took our Quickbooks file for over 2 months to ‘fix’.  While they had this we could not enter bookkeeping information and we fell behind in q1.

2) Missed all filing deadlines and filed for extensions - never had an accountant do that in 7 years in business.  Yes, I am not the most organized person in the world, but all others have been able to deal with it.

3) Spitefuly quit on April 14th, one day before personal filings are due, leaving me to fend for myself while absconding all of my personal papers and putting us behind by months.  They did this out of retaliation after I told a partner that they would need to file a personal extension because my accountant could not get the return done in time, despite my urging them to do so.

4) ‘Fixed’ my bookkeeping errors in a way that showed a paper profit of over 100,000 for a business that had minute cash resources.  When I questioned the work I was answered meanly, abrupbtly and insults.

5) Instructed me that I had a $16,000 personal tax liability that was ‘unavoidable’.  A new accountant looked over the finding and quickly noticed a mistake that could be fixed with an amended return and the $16,000 liability was reduced to about $2,000.   Pure stupidity for an accountant and they sure were mean in the process telling me how stupid I was for not properly withholding while the true error was a simple filing mistake.

Their side of the story is that I am difficult, hard to work with, my accountants were pea brains, my bookkeeper is a novice and inexperienced, I am disorganized, I am this, I am that, I am everything bad.   My counter point is that they were doing bookkeeping consulting for us for months prior and had already met us, knew what they were up against and accepted the work.

I feel that what they did is unprofessional - missing all filing deadlines, creating a tax burden of over $30,000 for me, insulting everyone that ever worked on my books and finally quitting the day before tax day. I hope that if you are considering Ratafia and Company as accountants or Margo Ratafia as a Quickbooks trainer that you look for other sources.

Yo Santonio, wazzup!??  It’s me, your homeboy, Plax.  I saw your catch last night and I can’t help but reminisce about my good fortunes in last years superbowl.  My catch, which was better than yours, propelled us to victory as well.  Life never seemed as sweet.   Everyone loved me, money was pouring in, I did interview after interview, I was on every media outlet you could imagine and women were throwing themselves at me.   I was the darling of New York City and honestly, I felt like I was floating half the time, it was that surreal.

I am pretty sure that you will find this to be an equally as exciting and interesting time as well.  You will be the king of Pittsburgh, you will be on cereal boxes, highlight reels forever and the moola will be flowin!   In the rush of it all I sincerely hope that you will find solace in my advice, given to you as a brother-in-arms, one who has walked this path.

Enough preample, here are my top suggestions.

1) Get serious about a press agent.   Choose the media outlets that suit your business goals.  Don’t sacrifice your desire for constant exposure for media outlets that will make you look cheap and desperate.

2)  Practice your interview responses!  You can easily anticipate the questions from these nimrod reporters.  I used to jot  down questions along with canned answers on 3 x 5 index cards (4 x 6 can be too big for a suit pocket so be careful!) that I would practice all the time.   Avoid ‘you knows’ and ‘ums’ and other distracting pauses.  This is your audition for the next level.  You can’t play football forever but if you can articulate your thoughts with precision and enthusiasm a lucrative career in broadcasting could await.

3) CLOTHES, CLOTHES, CLOTHES! I can’t say enough about this one.  Every step is  stage for you now.  Dress respectfully and toned down.  Even though you make more money than all the meathead fans in the entire stadium combined, don’t remind them of it.  There will be a time to wear $20,000 suits and $5,000 shoes again, but for now, keep it clean and subdued.  Believe me, this will help you a great deal with future endorsement deals.

4) Odor is your enemy.  Smell nice all the time, avoid coffee and keep mouthwash nearby. Chew gum frequently but never in front of cameras.   The last thing you want to do is scare off a reporter with dragon breath.

5) Trust your inner-circle.  You know who your friends have been, you know your supporters, you know who shares your common goals and you know who has your back. Don’t forget these people, don’t back stab them - stay connected as the storm will die down and you don’t want to be alone.

6) HAVE FUN!!  Enjoy the ride baby, it is amazing.

7) Don’t shoot yourself in the leg and end your career.

That’s it for now, bro.  I love ya and I sincerely hope that we can spend some quiet time together before my sentencing.

Peace and Love,

Plax

Here is how they work.

1) saleman negotiates a price and takes your down payment.

2) business manager, who is the typical person that you expect at a car dealer, then tells you how stupid the salesmen is and proceeds to  renegotiate your price after telling you how bad your credit report is.

3) Scum business manager then goes out for a smoke break and tells jokes about the sucker in his little cube and then will lower the price, but still much higher than what the salesmen said.  In my case the after smoke break price as 35% higher than the price I had negotiated with the salesmen.

Here is how to avoid the scum of Honda of New Rochelle.

1) DO NOT GIVE ANY MONEY UNTIL YOU MEET WITH THE BUSINESS MANAGER TO GET A REAL PRICE.  Your time with the salesman is wasted time, they can not help you with pricing.  They only take your down payment.

2) Insist on a credit report check before you get a sales quote.

3) Walk out if you don’t like what they are saying, I should have and I got reamed in the butt for not doing so.

Salesmen are actually nice, hard working guys but they are powerless and generally a waste of time for anything but a test drive.

The Glass House seems to have customers all the time, it is obvious where people spend money in a recession.

Brickyard Bistro is my favorite non-Indian restaurant in downtown New Ro.

What The F happened to City Market?

I am very happy that the bridge project across 95 is finally mostly complete.  Getting to and from the train station is MUCH more convenient now.

The new wine store in the Avalon seems pretty promising.  Heavy on French wine, but it seems like a good addition.  Horrible location, wish them well.

I did see my first peron in OQUENDO that looked like they were actually buying a dress.  Who would by a $2-4000 dress in New Ro?  Does seem like nice stuff though.

We need Sushi, can we hijack one the 200 places in Mamaroneck?

It is f’in cold and it sucks.

Finally tried Modern Pizza, billed as the best Pizza in New Ro, and some people think in Westchester.  I don’t know who those people are.  My guess is that they were dragged by the ear to their Uncle Vito’s birthday party when they were 9 and they are still looking for the chewing gum that they stuck under table 22.  Pizza is average at best, parking is such a joke I am looking for the camera for some liveidiot web site as I navigate to it.

I am quitting NYSC and going back to Axon, on a personal note.

I am going to start to research more random names pasted around New Rochelle. My health has sucked so I am running less and finding fewer strange monuments, but even in the block that has become my life there are many names to research.  At least research as much as the length of the time it takes to drink one beer.

Everyone I know is bitching about money or Bernie Jerkoff, but none of them are close to as broke as I am.

You won’ t believe how clearly Bernie Madoff was called out in 2001

Do we have financial regulators that care about their jobs at all?  If he was selling pot and he was written about in the newspaper do you think that the cops would bother to pay him a visit?  For sure, you can count on it.

From madoff securities web site:

The Owner’s Name is on the Door

In an era of faceless organizations owned by other equally faceless organizations, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC harks back to an earlier era in the financial world: The owner’s name is on the door. Clients know that Bernard Madoff has a personal interest in maintaining the unblemished record of value, fair-dealing, and high ethical standards that has always been the firm’s hallmark.

Bernard L. Madoff founded the investment firm that bears his name in 1960, soon after leaving law school. His brother, Peter B. Madoff, graduated from law school and joined the firm in 1970. While building the firm into a significant force in the securities industry, they have both been deeply involved in leading the dramatic transformation that has been underway in US securities trading.

Bernard L. Madoff has been a major figure in the National Association of Securities Dealers (NASD), the major self-regulatory organization for US broker/dealer firms. The firm was one of the five broker/dealers most closely involved in developing the NASDAQ Stock Market. He has been chairman of the board of directors of the NASDAQ Stock Market as well as a member of the board of governors of the NASD and a member of numerous NASD committees.

One major US financial publication lauded Bernard Madoff for his role in “helping to make NASDAQ a faster, fairer, more efficient and more international system.” He has also served as a member of the board of directors of the Securities Industry Association.

Reflecting the growing international involvement of the firm, when Madoff Securities opened a London office in 1983, it would become one of the first US members of the London Stock Exchange. Bernard Madoff was also a founding member of the board of directors of the International Securities Clearing Corporation in London.

Peter B. Madoff has also been deeply involved in the NASD and other financial services regulatory organizations. He has served as vice chairman of the NASD, a member of its board of governors, and chairman of its New York region. He also has been actively involved in the NASDAQ Stock Market as a member of its board of governors and its executive committee and as chairman of its trading committee. He also has been president of the Security Traders Association of New York. He is a member of the board of directors of the Depository Trust and Clearing Corp. He is a member of the board of the Securities Industry Association.

Bernard and Peter Madoff have both played instrumental roles in the development of the fully computerized National Stock Exchange. Peter Madoff has been a member of its board of governors and has served on its executive committee. They have helped make the National Exchange the fastest growing regional stock exchange in the United States.

These positions of leadership not only indicate the deep interest Madoff Securities has shown in its industry, they also reflect the respect the firm and its management have achieved in the financial community. 

Brickyard has a nice breakfast and lunch menu and I look forward to checking out both real soon.  Best of luck!